Angry and frustrated with everyone, some of which for the most inconsequential reasons. Frustrated with Avi because he took a while to respond to my texts. Frustrated with my friends for never including me in any of the things they do. Frustrated with Fordham for already making my college process so freaking difficult. Frustrated with Kyle because he plays his trashy music too loudly while I’m trying to do work. Frustrated with Kevin for not remembering the promise he made me to take me out when all my friends were at after-prom. Frustrated with my parents for being so damn clueless about everything. Hell, frustrated with Maddie because she was in my way while walking.
I don’t even know from where all of this stems, but it feels absolutely awful. A week from now, I’ll be graduating high school and this is far from how I wanted to feel. I don’t want to feel oppressed and worried out of my mind. I’m worried now about how I’ll be worried in the future; how pathetic is that? Why can’t I just catch a break for once? It’s like ever since I got back from Europe, things have been moving so quickly that I can’t seem to catch up with them.
I think what I yearn for the most is security and comfort and what comes ahead may be the complete opposite of those two. That’s frightening for me. I want to know that it’ll be okay in the most possible aspects of my life — school, money, relationships — but I just can’t get that assurance.
I want to know that I’ll be okay.