Thank you for petting my head and taking care of me while I complained about unbearable pain, mused about childbirth, and all that good stuff. You are the best, you really are.

I want closure for such insignificant things. Do you still look at that horrible painting before you fall asleep? Are you going to Yellowcard without me? Do you find yourself bored during the hours in between classes like I do? What does your schedule look like for next semester? When are you coming home? How do I give you back the t-shirt you lent me? Are you still going to Baruch for your summer course? Do you even still read this? I know our friends — your friends, really, since they are closer to you — found out about us here but I don’t really know what you’re up to. 

But then there are the more “pressing” issues. Does your family know? Mine doesn’t and I don’t think I have the heart to tell them. Do you find yourself interested in someone else? That’s okay, I know that you know you’re free to do whatever you want. How do you cope with it? 

I don’t really have an answer for that last one.

It was the weirdest thing. For weeks, your scent was gone. I washed it twice since you gave it to me and have worn it the past two nights. But it was so odd, I pressed my nose right around the collar and it smelled just like you. Even more bizarre, it was like it felt just like you.

It’s time to give this back to whom it really belongs.

I had that coming. Doesn’t mean I’m any less sad that it happened but I saw where it was coming from. Maybe I even deserved it. I probably did deserve it.

To when I wake up to you in the morning, every morning.

To when I fall asleep in your arms at
night, every night.

To when I can finally wow you with my college-improvisation culinary skills for dinner.

To when, if I want to be with you, I can travel across the room, not across the state.

To when we start our lives together.

The worst thing about a long-distance relationship, other than the distance apart, is the relativity of time. Spending the day with someone the day he or she leaves feels like it happened a week ago, even a month ago. It feels surreal that it even happened within the span of a few hours. The hour before they board that bus, that train, that car is over with the blink of an eye. Thinking about the next time you’ll be with that person, though, feels like months away when it’s only a matter of weeks. Even while you are with him or her, time just… slips. Vanishes. 

Was I really just with you five days ago? Why does it feel like five weeks ago? 

Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi Avi.

You are the most familiar thing I have ever known. You are the most amazing person I have ever loved. No one has ever cherished me the way you have. I love you so much, I really do. 

You are so far away. There are so many obstacles here. You are not the person I remember loving so greatly. I love you so much, I really do.